I am a nervous wreck. Struggling very hard to just roll with it but there are days when it is far harder than others. Today is one of those days. Between knowing that I have to start job hunting again and I have to catch up in my Math class and then there is him. The Guy. The one.
I am in a constant "state". I am so scared. What if he does it again? What if he is just playing with my head so he can help himself get better and heal and then move on? What if he hurts me more than I can handle this time? And because of that, I am going to be afraid to trust in him. I trust HIM but I don't know that I trust him with ME. I am so afraid to be hurt by him again. Honestly, I don't trust anyone anymore. I don't know if it stemmed from him or if that merely exacerbated it.
I'm sad and I am nervous and I am so fucking terrified...