I am not a good person. Even though that is what I wish to be more than anything. A good person worthy of love and hope.
I have made such bad decisions that affect others. And I am so sorry for that but what fucking good does "sorry" do? Does that remove or obliterate 20 years of pain? And I didn't try to hurt anyone. But that seems to be what I do. I hurt people and I don't mean to. How do I fix that? How do I make 20 years of loss and pain go away?